Mr. Bunny's Hutch

Mr. Bunny's Guide to ActiveX

"ActiveX is just a new way of controlling your pixels," says Mr. Bunny. "Can you say 'pixel'?"  

So begins the adventure of Mr. Bunny and Farmer Jake. In this book Carlton Egremont III brings the complex topic of ActiveX to a new audience - a target group with the combined intelligence of a sack of creme caramels.* From the beginner-oriented table of contents (each page is listed, along with its page number) and the incredibly annoying index (every entry says "See ActiveX"), you will find page after page of printed words and space wasting screen shots, just like a real technical book.

This is the first technology book by Carlton Egremont III, author of numerous lengthy grocery lists (unpublished), one or two letters to his mom (unsent), and a doodle on page 117 of the Rochester Public Library's copy of Moby Dick (overdue). Mr. Bunny's Guide to ActiveX makes a lovely gift for the nerd who has everything, and is perfect for propping up uneven table legs. For the high-tech parent there is simply no better antidote to yet another bedtime reading of "The Velveteen Rabbit" or "Applied Microsoft .NET Framework Programming." Just like Carlton, you and your children will come to believe in a talking bunny, a befuddled farmer, and a technology called ActiveX.  

* Editor's note: We've got to find the guy who's pulling down our average and get this book away from him. 

Mr. Bunny's Big Cup o' Java

There is simply no better way to learn Java than to have the pineal gland of an expert Java programmer surgically implanted in your brain. Sadly, most HMOs refuse to pay for this career saving procedure, deeming Java to be too experimental. At last there is an alternative treatment for those of us who cannot wait for sweeping health care reforms.

Mr. Bunny’s Big Cup O’ Java is recommended by n out of ten doctors, where n is any integer you wish to make up to impress an astoundingly gullible public. The book begins with an overview of the book, and quickly expands into the book itself. Just look at the topics covered:

In short, MBBCOJ will teach you all you need to know for a successful career in today’s rabbit development environments.

"I sincerely hope this book increases the donor pool."
-CE3

About the Author

Carlton Egremont III has lived a privileged life. The family patriarch (Carlton Egremont 0th) made his fortune with the invention of those things that separate groceries at the checkout counter, and CE3 was destined to continue the family tradition of innovation, dumb luck, and unbridled stupidity. 

As a child young Master Egremont dreamed of writing a book about Microsoft Windows. His innocent dream resulted in many visits to a drive-through psychiatrist, where Carlton would lie on the back seat of the family limousine and explain his visions to a plastic clown head. 

As a young adult, the rebellious Carlton Egremont III left the estate to live a playboy lifestyle, surrounded as he was by magazines in a three room flat in New Jersey. It was here he discovered a passion for agriculture and raised his first crop of organic poison ivy.  

Mr. Egremont is now back in favor with his family. The Egremont dynasty is proud of the Mr. Bunny series, especially now that knighthood could be in the future for the author, who has sent in a cereal box top and hopes to win the contest.


 

 

 

 

 

 

This page was last updated in 1984 by a gifted psychic who foresaw all that is described here.